Creativity

Creating in a vacuum is so hard. I find it so much easier to write or talk about things when there is a creative interaction between myself and others. The more people, the more creative I get. Perhaps, that is a good case for schizophrenia. At least then I'd always have someone to talk to about my ideas. It's an even better case for the Divine will creating the world as we know it. the whole universe in it's ever multiplying forms and creatures fuels creation. Diversity enhances creativity, diversity of thoughts, feelings and opinions. It all leads to more creativity.

When sitting down to write this I have also noticed that asking the right questions seems to help and asking the wrong questions tends to lead to dead ends. Bad Questions: "What should I write today?"; "What do people what to hear about?"; "Who is my audience?". Good questions: "What do I want to write about?"; "What's a good starting point?"; "What would I like to read?" Even if my first few ideas are bad, after about two or three the ball gets rolling and next thing I know I'm writing like a maniac.

Another point that I thought about is writing style. My best advice to myself is write the way you talk. It flows so much easier then. If I try to sound important or profound it just comes out dead. I have alot to share that I am passionate about and it's that passion that brings the subject to life. Not like I'm trying to write a math book for crying out loud. I can feel it in my bones. the desire to write, to express myself. trusting that feeling can be difficult sometimes but is always worth it. (Even if only a few people read this) It's more about shining like the sun and letting the rays of light land where they may. Hopefully people become illuminated and inspired by the words flowing on these pages.

What can you create today? What is something that you can do to make the world a better creation? Paint broadly with your brush in vivid color? Sing the song that your heart sings to you? Enjoy with great pleasure all the world has to offer. Sometimes I feel that the universe is like that friend who spends more time watching you watch the movie than they do watching the movie themselves. Wouldn't it be great if that's how it really is? (I'm pretty sure it is.) Creation is for you, for everyone. Let your light shine and the world becomes a better place.

Making things more important than they really are.

Sometimes it seem that my biggest difficulty in life is trying to make things more important than they really are. Port of that feeling is trying to get every thing just right, so that way nobody can complain about what I'm doing. The problem with that is that I am quite different from most people. I think differently, I feel differently, I even breathe differently. Growing up in Kansas, different was bad, different was wrong, different was evil. The herd mentality screams, "Just conform! Be like us and we will stop hurting you! We'll stop shunning you! We'll stop hating you!" Well, I guess officially they said things like, "You're weird. You think too much. You're crazy. Come to church with us this Sunday. Do you believe in Jesus? Just shut up and do what you are told."

The problem is: I tried. I really did. I did everything I was told to. I did whatever would make people happy. I was kind, generous, polite. Hell, I even went to church. But guess what, there is no pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. Only absolute misery. The biggest mistake of my life was listening to other people and ignoring my own voice. Only by listening to yourself and acting on what you know can you have a hope of living a real life a happy life, a fulfilling life. There are so many rules out there and at some point they all contradict each other. Suffering is trying to be something you're not. Like trying to wear shoes that are "too small" or "too big".

There is a "just right" way of life and it's probably not anything like what you've been told it should be. You will find it slumbering inside, just waiting to awaken. the pure genius of your soul. You know how your life should be, maybe you forgot how to listen, but you know. Stop trying to conform. Stop trying to be original. Stop trying. Be still. Listen. Then you can hear that small quiet voice, the one that is never wrong, that won't lead you astray. It is your true friend, it is your life long companion, your trusted ally. It is you. It is divine and it's been with you all along.

When I am in alignment with who I really am, my life goes smoothly. No problems. No worries. Yet when I try to "do what I am told" Life gets difficult all the sudden. How strange is that. I never had those problems before. Hell, even having problems is doing what you are told. Having problems is making things more important than they really are, wishing that they were different, refusing to accept reality for what it is. Accept that you are the way you are, be who you are, do what you do and it all falls into place. Dare to dream, live that dream and make it big.

What I need to hear.

So many times I actually know what I want to do, even when I say I don't. (or should I say especially when I say I don't). It's often the fear of actually being original, creative, unique, or hell, even just being recognized. If people know I'm competent, they might ask me to do stuff for them that I don't want to do. Maybe they might even ask me to do something I want to do. Being authentic is the best gift that can be given. There is so much to do and I basically get bogged down on where to start. The best place to start is the first place you think of. The next best is the one after that. It's not that hard once you get started, everything flows from that moment.

Perfection

Wasn't sure what to write about today. I keep thinking that I should write something inspiring, thoughtful, and just downright amazing. The only amazing thing is how much internal pressure I put myself under. I'm like many other people who underestimate themselves. No matter how good we are, we always feel that we could do better and unfortunately that leads to feeling not good enough. Never good enough. I try to remember to do my best every day and that simply means what ever I was able to do that day. Pretty simple really. The internal perfectionist loves to try to deny that one, but it can't.

It likes to say things like "Well, your best isn't as good a this person's best." or "You didn't try hard enough, so you didn't do your best." or even "What's the matter with you even a child could do better." (if the perfectionist is feeling particularly nasty). But don't listen to it. Every day you do your best. Everyday you get better at the things you do. You get stronger, faster and smarter with every new experience you have. You are perfect the way you are and you will get better. Focus on what you are doing and let somebody else do the scorekeeping. Better yet do it without a grade. Don't let that preschool crap get to you, it's all nonsense.

Enjoy each moment, feel the adventure of life unfolding around you, breathe deeply and relax. It's not a dog and pony show.

Benevelonce

Benevolence is not the same as selflessness. It's is imperative when being good and kind to include yourself in the equation. Not counting yourself creates a disharmonious act. If you hurt yourself in the process, can you call that act truly benevolent? Helping others is part of what life is all about and so is your right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. Do the most benevolent thing you can, be good to yourself too.

Quality of Life

Sometimes I get so focused on my goals, I rarely am able to see the quality of my life. It seems somehow that beauty, peace, enjoyment of  life, and a host of other things get deemed unimportant somehow. It is as if suffering is meant to be suffered through and ignored. Suffering is not a natural state, no matter how much I pretend it is. The most beneficial way to achieve goals is also the most pleasing way. The way that brings happiness. The way with heart. Can it ever be fully embraced so that love and logic can coexist in peace?

Doing the Impossible

 Doing the impossible is not as hard as it seems, mainly because most of what people consider Impossible is only outside of their boxes. If you are willing to dream and take a few risks, the impossible becomes something that you have done. When in doubt, trust yourself, listen to no one and spread your wings and fly.