Having Goals

It is sometimes difficult to recognize your own goals. With so many different people telling you what you should do, who you should be, and even what you should want, thing can be rather confusing at times. If you want to recognize what you really want in life, there are a methods for clearing away other peoples goals for you and finding your own.

The first method that I share with others is the "Do what you want and don't do what you don't want to do." Simple right? Well, most of the time. People tend to argue this one before they even try it, usually because they misunderstand what it is that they would actually want to do. It is often imagined that doing whatever you want would lead you to doing all sorts of horrible things. The truth is: most of the time you end up doing what you normally do plus a few nice things that you've been putting of to take care of yourself. Like take a nap or go for a walk outside, or get a new job. Down deep, we're not monsters, we're good people.

Maybe in following this, you decide too immediately take it to an extreme, my suggestion is don't. Unless you are prepared for the logical consequences of your actions. Doing what you want does not stop others from doing what they are going to do in response to what you are doing. Not doing what you don't want to do may cause people to give you a hard time. Take it slow and with small steps and then you will see positive changes in the way you live. Eventually you will come to understand the difference between what you feel like doing and what you really want to do.

Another method I suggest to people is the Guilt Reversal method. If doing something make you feel guilty, odds are that it is something that you actually want to do (that some of the people closest to you don't approve of). Likewise if it is something that you would feel guilty for not doing then you more than likely don't want to do these things. The key to this one is recognizing the difference between guild and remorse. Guilt is the feeling of outside pressure applied to you in order to control your behavior. Remorse on the other hand is the feeling you get when you recognize that you in fact did something that you know is wrong or unintended.

The next method is by far the simplest yet hardest. I call it the Truth method. It goes like this: never lie to yourself. Most of the time we become confused on our path because we end up lying to ourselves about what we really know. If you are brutally honest with yourself, you can't be confused at all. Sometimes this method becomes a combination of the first two methods. Sometime you won't like what you find. However, seeking the truth relentlessly in all situations will allow you to act out of perfect clarity.

An example situation: Your mother want you to go visit aunt Bertha in the hospital. You feel resistance to going even though you know you should go visit her. If you look at the situation truthfully you may find that you don't like aunt Bertha and the only reason you would go is to make you mother happy even though you would be miserable the whole time. Also this is the sixth time your aunt has been in the hospital and this is the weekend you planned on going on a vacation that you have been planning for over a year. The other five times you visited and each time you got really sick afterwards. What should you do? Seems obvious when you are honest with yourself.

Usually when we are conflicted about our path in life it is usually because of the people close to us. Listen to what you have to say to yourself first, make your decision, then act. More than likely you already know what the have to say. Trust yourself and do what you think is best. It is better to do what you want and be wrong, than to do what others say you should and always wonder if you would have been right. Try it and see.