Making things more important than they really are.

Sometimes it seem that my biggest difficulty in life is trying to make things more important than they really are. Port of that feeling is trying to get every thing just right, so that way nobody can complain about what I'm doing. The problem with that is that I am quite different from most people. I think differently, I feel differently, I even breathe differently. Growing up in Kansas, different was bad, different was wrong, different was evil. The herd mentality screams, "Just conform! Be like us and we will stop hurting you! We'll stop shunning you! We'll stop hating you!" Well, I guess officially they said things like, "You're weird. You think too much. You're crazy. Come to church with us this Sunday. Do you believe in Jesus? Just shut up and do what you are told."

The problem is: I tried. I really did. I did everything I was told to. I did whatever would make people happy. I was kind, generous, polite. Hell, I even went to church. But guess what, there is no pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. Only absolute misery. The biggest mistake of my life was listening to other people and ignoring my own voice. Only by listening to yourself and acting on what you know can you have a hope of living a real life a happy life, a fulfilling life. There are so many rules out there and at some point they all contradict each other. Suffering is trying to be something you're not. Like trying to wear shoes that are "too small" or "too big".

There is a "just right" way of life and it's probably not anything like what you've been told it should be. You will find it slumbering inside, just waiting to awaken. the pure genius of your soul. You know how your life should be, maybe you forgot how to listen, but you know. Stop trying to conform. Stop trying to be original. Stop trying. Be still. Listen. Then you can hear that small quiet voice, the one that is never wrong, that won't lead you astray. It is your true friend, it is your life long companion, your trusted ally. It is you. It is divine and it's been with you all along.

When I am in alignment with who I really am, my life goes smoothly. No problems. No worries. Yet when I try to "do what I am told" Life gets difficult all the sudden. How strange is that. I never had those problems before. Hell, even having problems is doing what you are told. Having problems is making things more important than they really are, wishing that they were different, refusing to accept reality for what it is. Accept that you are the way you are, be who you are, do what you do and it all falls into place. Dare to dream, live that dream and make it big.